GOD I fail at blogging anymore.. wow… honestly I fail pretty much at keeping up with any of my social media-esque things really. So don’t take it personal tumblr, lol.

Let’s seeeeeee…

I’ve been doing a lot of spiritual and self-discovery work. I’ve been doing this “Discovering Your Destiny in the Shadow” course with Robert Ohotto. He’s amazing. I can’t even get into all the things right now that I’ve already learned, and there’s still a couple weeks to go! But I have discovered some things about myself.. I know I never would have come to them on my own. Robert is an amazing teacher. He has a way of talking that makes you feel really comfortable with listening to him, not like he’s lecturing at all - even when he is. And his perspectives, his understanding of things in his own way, really make it a totally different conversation than anything I’ve read before. “Ohotto style” he calls it lol. But I’ve learned so much about myself, about how my subconscious is operating and about things I learned in my childhood, growing up, that I didn’t even realise I was acting out as an adult. Choices I’ve made in my life that were led by something buried in my unconscious, unhealthy, ugly programming that I didn’t have any clue was making those calls. But I understand so much better now so many things that I’ve been thru. Why they happened, why I made some of the mistakes/choices I did in my life.. I don’t want to get into all of it right now because it’s very personal, really raw and deep in me, but it’s a complete game-changer. I can say that without a doubt.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE~!

I’ve been networking around deviantART quite a bit lately. Posting newer pics. I’ve got some dolls done that I want to submit to groups and I figured it would look better if I didn’t just come out of nowhere and start like HEY LOOK AT MAH STUFF so I’ve been liking and commenting on things in the groups so I feel more involved, so I’m more active. I want to be better caught up on stuff y’know? Inevitably tho, that only leads to more groups I’m interested in and more artists to watch fml. *headdesk*  I found a Lalaloopsy group (amoung other groups) which makes me really happy because I love these little dolls. They’ve totally become my obsession. I’m working on rearranging things in my room & my bookshelves so I can make better use of my space. Have more space for my new dolls and maybe get rid of some old stuff that isn’t so much me anymore.. I want to sort stuff out because I know a lot of things in me are changing.

I’m still working on my Adam Glamnation doll (#procrastination4ever) but I’ve finished the boots on one of them at least. Then I’ll just have the hair & eyes! I’m excited, I’ve just been putting off working on pretty much everything and perfectionisting myself to the point of madness. I do have Papa and Stein tho, and the Klaine squirrels! They’re so cute. I love this style. So proud of them.

my 2012 personal forecast

Wow where to even start on how things are looking for this year…

We did readings for the forecast of 2012 & mine looks like nothing but some serious focus on my magic and my creative projects. I have to take time in January to get my patterns and rituals in order. My scheduling. I have too many excuses for not taking time for myself. I go on about not having enuf time around my work schedule or how I don’t get enuf time to spend with my besties. The truth is that I only have usually 2 doubles a week, which means that’s only 2 days wasted with nothing but work - and even then I can often fit a little bit of creative work into the downtime at the hotel. The other 5 days of the week I know I’m still going to be up all night when I get home, so there’s still time for me to work on stuff. And it’s stupid to use hanging out as a reason bc they live with me! It’s not like I never see them for heaven’s sake. Trust me, they never go away! (LOL I’M KIDDING!!) But there really is time enuf to work on things and still hang out. Plus they’ve got things that they want to work on as well, so it’s healthier for all of us if we take the time that we really want for ourselves. It makes no sense to hang out out of something like obligation bc we just end up resenting the other people for taking up our time when it’s us who made the choice to self-abandon and not do the things we really wanted to do with our time.

So it’s going to be a big year for creatively.. but there is also some major stuff moving for me in the spiritual side of things. My cards for The Wheel of the Year were saying a lot about my focus and creativity, but my Nine Guardians reading was really heavy on the spirituality, my connections to the earth around me and to the divine. I really need to center myself more solidly in the things that matter and toss a lot of old things that I don’t need anymore onto the compost pile. There’s a lot of sorting out the things in my life that needs to go on in the early part of this year to get things in order for what’s coming. There are so many blessings on the horizon that I really want to straighten myself out & be ready for them when they come. I don’t want to end another year thinking about opportunities for abundance that I may have missed because of my own fears and faulty programming from my past that I’m still clinging to for what I think is safety.